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A FINRA Outsourcing Breakup

| May 17 2018

Dear Mr. Vendor,

This FINRA outsourcing relationship we entered into just isn’t working.

There, I said it. That was the hard part. The Band-Aid is ripped off. All those beautiful demos we did? The walks in the Zoom suite? The tender application of my analytics to your suite? It was all for naught.

At this moment, rightfully so, you’re asking yourself:

Why?

I don’t know if the explanation will ease the pain, but Simon Sinek is a YouTube favorite of mine, and he says to start with why, so I’ll give it a shot.

1. Your archives look funny.

That isn’t how they look on the web and I believe the whole deal with FINRA outsourcing is that I’m paying you (have to admit the truth!) to make sure my archives look the same on the web as in my compliance moments, and that’s just not happening.


2. You never answer when I call.

Why is this? Why must you play me so? Are you trying to establish some degree of “hard to get?” Well, that works in true relationships, but this was supposed to be a transactional one. (I know, that one must cut deep.) I paid for FINRA outsourcing and you provided what I needed and reduced my stress. But the thing is, Mr. Vendor, by not answering the phone when I needed something, you began to re-increase my stress. That isn’t why I signed the dotted line after our beautiful moment in that demo. It wasn’t what I was promised!


3. Let’s not talk about the night of April 16

That’s when I got audited. You remember the night. I know you do. It seems like you might have been out of your mind. But if you forget, here’s what happened. I got audited -- the boys came calling! -- and this beautiful FINRA outsourcing relationship I was in was supposed to be my savior on that night. I was confident! Instead, what happened? All you brought was static shots of a social media login screen. The auditors weren’t pleased. I definitely wasn’t pleased. And now I’m sitting here with a fine because you couldn’t raise the bar. Is this the life I thought I’d have when I was marrying Ken and Barbie 26 years ago? NO!


4. You don’t think about our future.

So much is just around the corner. Slack is already “at scale,” as are similar tools. How are you going to archive that? What about types of interactive content? You fumbled the snap like Earnest Byner (sorry, I’m from Cleveland, it still stings) on my audit, and I’m supposed to expect Mr. FINRA Outsourcing here to suddenly know what the heck he needs to do in a situation with rich video? I just can’t… I just can’t take the risk and be hurt again.

5. What I should have done a long time ago.

Listen, I know the wounds are open right now, and I don’t want to pour salt in them. But, I needed a FINRA outsourcing partner who cares about me, but also who’s legally-defensible and can capture those rich moments. And I never want to see April 16 happen again, so I need a partner who will be there for me in the moments I need him -- like an audit. I should have called Hanzo.

All best, but not really,

Lucy